I wonder how often Jesus felt like there was something he wanted to say to his disciples but knew they were not ready to hear it. There are many instances in the gospels where Jesus says things, and there is not an immediate understanding of what He means or is getting at. And I think that is why the Word is a seed and once planted it needs time to develop (It also needs time to die, but perhaps that is a lesson for another time).
Hearing something once or many times might be just what we need in order to one day find that something has taken root and grown into something beautiful. Maybe in order to believe, we must hear or see with some measure of consistency in order for our heart to take hold of what we have heard.
Thus, trust when established is not blind but rather tested and perhaps I test God in his goodness more often than I think.
There is a story in the gospels (Luke 18:18-30) where somebody approaches Jesus and calls Him “Good Teacher,” to which Jesus replies, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.” It’s a weird statement to make no… because He is God alone or rather God united 3 in 1.
But Jesus does not ask that why question to cast doubt in the mind of a wealthy ruler in regards to His identity as God incarnate. Instead, he asks the why to engender faith inside of a man who has been relying heavily on his performance.
Oh the things we want to earn. Yet I could just as easily say: “Oh the things we want to be given.”
It’s interesting how the whole story of this wealthy ruler starts with an interesting question, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” This is the great conundrum. He chooses to emphasize inheritance, something you usually receive based on position or identity at birth and precedes it with “what do I have to do?”
I could be wrong but I don’t think you can do, to inherit. I think you have to be someone to inherit.
A few moments later, Jesus quietly and subtly indicates that it’s hard for the rich, who are usually preoccupied with how hard they work to become wealthy, to enter the Kingdom of God. Then he addresses the concern of the disciples about how it is that anyone can be saved. And He reveals the secret, “It’s impossible for everyone except with God” (who alone is good and also happens to be Jesus).
To which Peter then basically says, “But look at all we have done (given up) to follow you.” This in some ways could also be read as look at all we have not done in order to follow you.
And then Jesus points them back again subtly but using a big concept that what is preeminent is the why you do what you do.
Why do I (we) follow Jesus?
Why do I or don’t I believe?
He is God. He is Good. I am here, underperforming, always asking, wondering if I am capable of hanging my head and walking away or finding the courage to stay. I don’t know if I can say I have left all to follow, but I think I know that if I was relying on whatever good there was in me alone, I wasn’t getting very far.