The Reconstructed

Shalom from Jerusalem. I have not written in quite a bit and quite frankly it’s probably for the best. I actually have a lot of good news to share, and I’m actually surprised. I have begun to experience waves of goodness of God opening doors and healing my heart.

I say this with fragility. Because I also have enough life experience to know that grief, loss, and disappointment, accusation, rejection, and potential for negativity are lurking and seeking an opportunity for letting loose on my or anyone’s life.

But things are good. I have been in Jerusalem for 4 days. I have studied a lot of Hebrew in the 3 days of classes. It has been overwhelming yet filled with revelation. I can say God and His word and language itself is riddled with possibility of opening faith and opportunity and hope in our lives.

By the same token, words from people that matter to you, from enemies have an immense capacity to torment and tear down and our behavior in response to words or others actions as well as others actions in response to our words equally carry a variety of options that can make matters worse.

But I’d be hard pressed to deny that words have power to be a healing balm, words of have power to reconcile, and love enacted by the Spirit has great capacity to lighten and enliven life. For the last 3 months I have experienced this in innumerable ways from my community at International Family Church, Incite Church and the Grace Center all in Charleston, as well as from my friends.

I applied for this Graduate Level Intensive Course studying Biblical in Hebrew in 5 weeks in March. So before mid-March, I had no real thought of being in Israel. Often I have felt like when describing this class to people, I do not know if I adequately described how much of the time will be occupied with studying. Realistically between 5 days of class and one day being Shabbat, I have about a half day of exploration per week, sometimes a bit more.

To learn Biblical Hebrew well enough to read and pronounce in 5 weeks is a lot, and it is what I wanted. I wanted to be in a classroom 5 hours a day learning a language. Mind you this is not a deep study of biblical text, it is not theology although you might be able to draw some conclusions because we are talking about how a language is constructed, mind you a version of the language that is not really written or even entirely spoken anymore other than in synagogue. Biblical Hebrew is not modern Hebrew.

In May, we sold my dads house and I applied to a grad program at the the College of Charleston, a MFA in Creative Writing. Honestly, I applied late, had no idea how many people the program accepted, but I have long desired to be in a Creative Writing context in hopes of publishing comedic fiction and growing as a writer. When I applied I was told that funding probably wouldn’t be available. But a week before I left I got into the program and was offered two scholarships and a grad assistantship. So for the next two years I’ll be enrolled in my second Masters Program concentrating in Fiction.

One of my pastors, Ravi, has talked to me a lot about open doors and the need to speak out the promises of God. Honestly, when he first told me this on my birthday when he invited me over for dinner, I was resistant not because I did not believe in the power of words quickened by the Holy Spirit, but more so because I believed too much in disappointment. But as I’ve stepped out albeit very little and spoken to God about my dreams and my desire to be close to Him and His Church and the plans He has, I have found God after a considerable amount of time to be a gentle and good Father. Not that He ever stopped being that, just that it became hard for me to see or grasp.

I’m starting to see that it all matters, what people say matters, what you allow yourself to believe in what others say matters. Your words matter, but honestly, God’s matters more and His Word is lamp unto your feet.