caves 3

Carl is the man who lives in his car; he works at the Flying J, so he does have a job, which is nice. I don’t know yet why Carl chooses to live in his car; we still haven’t met. I won’t knock on his door because I’m still a little scared. Why? I don’t know; all my fears that have been exposed over the last month have been generally rooted in the irrational, which further exposes a lack of trust in God. When that realization occurs does anyone ever feel good about themselves or happy with how they’re performing?

That’s why Carl’s cave is so bad. Whether or not you’re living in a cave or a car or a comfortable apartment alone, unsure how you got where you are, feeling like you’ve forgotten how to obey God or what He asks of you, when you feel like you’ve been sent off into the dark you feel out of control.

Once when I was little, I went to the Liberty Science Center; I recall venturing into a “touch tunnel” with my brother. It was pitch black and you had to feel your way out of the maze. My brother made it out; I did not, at least not right away. I did manage to plant myself into someone’s large posterior, and shortly after I cried. Thankfully my brother came back in to get me and I saw the light of day and never went into a “touch tunnel” again. (A similar incident did happen again in a mirror maze though, of also which I never went into again)

What makes these experiences so awful was the point in time, when I accepted I no longer could get myself out of these circumstances. I came to a place where I said I can’t do it and my only way out is if someone else came to help, but what if no one did? Now that I am older, 25, I realize I don’t need to pay an entrance fee to get lost in a maze of any kind. I also am equipped with a promise in scripture that says: God will never leave or forsake me, the psalms tell us in some instances He comes to our aid quickly, but we’d also be ignorant if we overlooked the times when God provides the ones He loves with an opportunity to find joy in times of uncertainty no matter how prolonged. You may wonder; what joy is to be had?cave 2

Fortunately, there is joy to be had and the joy is in Christ Himself. The world, however does not paint Jesus as the joy to be had. They find their victories elsewhere typically in immorality. Even as a Christian I think about all the other things that would bring me joy, but I’ve seen in the midst of those things being unrealized that Christ who is eternal must be the greatest source of joy and if my affections are fixed on Him, I won’t be disappointed. There are pleasures at His right hand forevermore and even though His hand is really big and is everywhere, to receive what is from Him can be difficult. But why?…

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